


fire of emblems

by MercurialComet



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Alternate Universe, Crack, Gen, pro gaming
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-08
Updated: 2019-12-11
Packaged: 2021-02-26 00:33:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,723
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21714607
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MercurialComet/pseuds/MercurialComet
Summary: aka, I write a league of legends pro-gaming au meant just for me.
Kudos: 4





	1. Profiles

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [to the beat!](https://archiveofourown.org/works/20917658) by [sgwuo](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sgwuo/pseuds/sgwuo). 



> hahahahahaha this is gonna be TRASH

**great.prince**

Blue Lions Leader. Soldier Tree main. #5 in the current rankings.

**of.duscur.flowers**

Blue Lions. Fighter Route. I now charge for hearing racial slurs.

**sword.shield**

blue lions. always have a sword. no, boar, i will not be a dancer.

**lamine.mercy**

Support for the Blue Lions! Monk route player! I hope we all have a good game!

**dust.and.ashes**

bl artillery. I’m here to have fun and make friends, ngl.

**domin-ation-ic**

Blue Lions! Magical DPS! Always singing!

**gautier**

Blue Lions :/ Soldier/Cavalier guy :) friends call me gautier but you can call me anytime ;)

**lady.knight**

Blue Lions. Sol/Myr route. Take me to the skies, for the earth is barren and lame - Cichol 4:20.

**empress**

Black Eagle Captain. Warrior or Bust.  **#4** in competitive.

**dark.ness**

black eagle mage. give me the battalion.

**songstress**

Only thorns left on this rose ;) Beagle Dancer.

**von.aegir**

The noblest BE. Only honorable classes.

**bernie.bear**

be. not very godd. please jsut leava me aloen.

**short.king**

Black Eagles! Nomag brawler!

**brigid.princess**

Work with Black Eagles. Nomag jacking of trades. I am pleased to have met you.

**made.my.bed**

now let me sleep in it. be supprt, mage is the best route and always take crests.

**barbarossa**

fear the deer. Grand strategist. I’m  **_3rd in the ranks._ **

**heiress**

fear the deer! claude makes me work :(

**gloucester**

Be afraid of the stag. The most reasonable player. Professional enquiries at *****@fodlan.com

**goody.basket**

FEAR THE DEER. FIGHTER MAIN. STAY HEALTHY.

**two.braincells**

To destroy everyone else’s singular one. Fear the deer. Get better with the meta before you call me a child.

👀

Fear the Deer! Art Student -> Watch my stream!

**horses**

fear the deer. support. no, i don’t have uno stop saying that.

**bladebreaker.2**

Fear the Dear. BladeBreaker’s apprentice! Dangerous on the keys.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> more gamebuilding

**#fearthedeer**

**barbarossa**

hey leonie

**barbarossa**

you have deer misspelled in your profile

**bladebreaker.2**

what?

**bladebreaker.2**

no i don’t

**gloucester**

Please check your profile.

**bladebreaker.2**

…

**heiress**

i’m screaming

👀

What are you screaming about?

👀

Oh.

**bladebreaker.2**

look we all make mistakes

**two.braincells**

The BladeBreaker wouldn’t make that mistake

**bladebreaker.2**

i don’t have to take this.

**two.braincells**

Then change it.

**bladebreaker.2**

no

* * *

###  Blue Lions Strategy Meeting. Red Wolf 17.

Dimitri cleared his throat before he spoke, getting the attention of everyone else in the room. “Bringing this meeting to order, are there any announcements people want to make? None?”

“Can we just get this over with?” Felix grumbled, “I’m trying to get in as much practice as I can before the season starts.”

“Are we all aware of the White House Tournament coming up?” Ingrid asked, everyone’s phone letting out the notification sound that let them know that she had yet again sent in the flyer for the event. “We should probably spend some time talking about our competitors-”

Sylvain whistled. “Let’s calm down. We won’t get anything done if we’re so uptight.”

“What is the current meta anyway?” Mercedes asked, “How is everyone doing?”

Dedue sighed, leaning over and waving a hand in front of Annette and Ashe, grabbing their attention from the papers they were currently looking at. Annette looked up and saw everyone looking at her.

“Oh, well-” She started, pulling out her laptop and opening it. “The Black Eagles are still keeping their standard 3 lane duos and dual jungle. Von.aegir seems to be branching out though, he may be a jack of trades soon.”

“What about the Golden Deer?”

Annette sighed. “Nothing. Barbarossa still has them all continuously changing from game to game. I have a document of all the classes they play, but expect crazy things from them.” 

“Nothing has changed when it comes to gambits,” Ashe spoke up, “However they have changed the spawn rates of the battalions. It’s easier to get Intervention now that it shows up 10% of all games.”

Ingrid’s eyes glittered as she pull out her own laptop. “You’re joking.”

“Look at the patch notes.” Ashe said, holding out the paper. “Mad Melee got lowered to 30%, and everything else got a 5% buff.”

Felix looked disgusted as he looked at the page. “Does this mean I have to start running gambits now?”

“We may have to start practicing with battalions.” Dimitri said, taking notes. “We’ll talk about this later. Should we start warming up?” The sound of computers starting up and keyboards clacking answered his question.

“Can we please do a joke round? I’ve always wanted to try dancer-”

“Sure Sylvain, go crazy.”

* * *

**#black-eagles-strike-force**

**von.aegir**

I Refuse

**dark.ness**

Ferdinand. Darling. Love.

**von.aegir**

No, I Will Not Follow This Treacherous Path.

**von.aegir**

How Dare You All Even Think Of This

**short.king**

but your dodge skills are godlike….

**made.my.bed**

and you already build cichol crest on reflex, this isn’t a bad idea

**empress**

At least try it once Ferdinand. See how it works.

**von.aegir**

Alright.

**von.aegir**

But I Refuse To Jungle.

**empress**

Fine.

**empress**

Switch with Bernadetta. I want to have you and Dorothea practice laning together.

**songstress**

Why must you put me with this bee.

**von.aegir**

I Feel Like My Feelings Should Be Hurt

**made.my.bed**

my eyes  **do** hurt looking at all of the unnecessary capitalization

* * *

**best wyvern rider @barbarossa**

lmao why is  **@von.aegir** going brawler > assassin on stream? i would hide that shit immediately  **@empress**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lmao okay let me explain myself
> 
> i'm gonna kinda treat classes like builds? crests, weapons, healing items are items. some gambits are gonna be like summoner spells, others are gonna be the dragon/baron buffs.


	3. Chapter 3

###  **Wave 3 Patch Notes**

  * **General Gameplay Balance**



  * **Lethality**


  * Activation rate: (DEX * 0.35)% → (DEX * 0.25)% per ability use.


  * Can now be countered by Miracle.


  * Does not activate either Reversal or Retribution.


  * Still activates Ennervation



  * Battalions


  * Spawn Rates:


  * Ennervation: 5% → 10%


  * Absorption: 10% → 15%


  * Raging Flames: 15% → 20%


  * Impregnable Wall: 20% → 25%


  * Mad Melee: 50% → 30%



  * Gauntlets


  * Attack Speed: 1.5 → 2.0



  * Gambits


  * Open with 500 xp → 350 xp


  * Upgrade at 1500 xp → 1050 xp

* * *




“Hello everyone!” Mihail smiled as his stream chat started up, moderators already needing to work hard to keep on top of everything. “Welcome back to Between The Lanes. If you don’t know, I’m Mihail, and I am lucky enough to have 3 guests here with me on stream, the vassals of the top three houses: Hubert from the Black Eagles, Dedue from the Blue Lions, and Hilda from the Golden Eagles!”

“Ugh,” Hilda said, already starting to complain. “I don’t know how I let you talk me into this, it’s so much work!”

“But 1v6-ing the enemy team isn’t?” Hubert scoffed, rolling his eyes.

Hilda winked. “Finally someone else understands!”

The three men gave her looks of terror before Mihail picked himself back up and continued the show. “So, the Wave 3 patch notes dropped, and I just want to hear your opinions on them.”

“Well,” Dedue said, “we can be happy that there isn’t another rework of the starting abilities system.”

“I am overjoyed by it.” Hubert said in a straight voice. “The last rework was, disgusting.”

“I’m pretty upset that nothing I use got buffed.” Hilda complained. “Why can’t the axe get any love, Silver Snow?”

“Because they see you destroying whole teams with it.” Dedue said. “It doesn’t really need a buff.”

“Either way, she brings up an interesting point.” Mihail said, displaying the notes on the stream. “This patch seems to favor you two in some degrees. I mean, it is a well known fact that Dedue is one of the better brawler players, and Hubert is a big advocate for gambits and battalions. How do these changes make you feel?”

The two men looked at each other before Hubert nodded and leaned back in his chair, letting Dedue go first. “I’m pleased that the attack speed for the gauntlets is back to double speed.” Dedue said, “I think I speak for a lot of gauntlet users when I say that the slower speed just felt wrong to play.”

“Yeah,” Hilda said, “Raphael was complaining about having to try a speed-based build when he realized that it wasn’t working out so well. He seems pretty happy now that things are back to normal.”

“Caspar has been absolutely insufferable ever since it was put back.” Hubert said with a small smile on his face. “Petra is slightly upset at the Lethality nerf, but I honestly cannot see a difference in her gameplay.”

“Oh, Petra is still terrifying even with that nerf.” Hilda agreed, “I have never seen someone clear a jungle that quickly late-game.”

“The Lethality nerf is a good call though.” Dedue reasoned, “The amount of times I have found myself going from a whole health bar to no health bar is problematic.”

“But that’s why you build into Commander, the hard counter to Lethality.” Hilda said. “I’m happy that there is at least a way to get around it.”

“Either way, the buff to gambits are very much appreciated by me.” Hubert said, “I know that Ingrid and Lorenz are also happy, considering that gambits and battalions run off of the same formulas, so it will be interesting to see how this affects competitive play.”

“Especially with the different spawn rates, can you imagine the different combinations now?” Hilda asked, looking at some notes on her phone. “We already have some absolutely amazing moments: Dedue’s War Master build with Raging Flames, Petra’s Lethality and Wyvern combo with Absorption, and Lysithea’s Gremory with Ennervation-”

“Oh, that was terrifying.” Dedue said. “She had picked off Dimitri and Felix before she started targeting me, and I thought I had her before it activated.”

“It’s still considered one of the top 10 plays in Wave 2.” Hubert stated, “I still could not believe that they were able to take that battalion with no one noticing what it was.”

“Well, that’s not going to happen anymore.” Hilda laughed. “Ingrid is going to be watching the battalions like a hawk.” 

Hubert smiled. “Oh, so will I.”

* * *

**zzzzzzz @made.my.bed**

the next person to say i shouldn’t go gremory while i stream are getting blocked after i get their sub money

**gloucester @gloucester**

Just say the word Linhardt. 

**what would the goddess say @lamine.mercy**

Who is being rude to you?

**call me anytime @gautier**

LMAO y’all have Mercedes upset, heads are gonna roll now. 

**buy my album! @songstress**

Gremory squad rise up!

**y=mx+b @two.braincells**

Gremory #1 here

**dorte… @horses**

gremory 2


End file.
